Soul Wounds -A Healing Balm for the broken places of our past

Jeremiah 8:22 says, “Is there no balm in Gilead?  Is there no physician there? Why then is there no healing for the wound of my people?”     

What is a soul wound?  I define a soul wound as:

-Painful hurts from your childhood or past that were covered with a Band-Aid without any medicine or loving care administered.  The wound underneath the Band-Aid continues to bleed or is infected and continues to cause great emotional and spiritual pain in your life leading to destructive behaviors or habits that cause us great harm.

to lead them into destructive behaviors. 

Unfortunately, Israel did not see the need to heal their soul wounds.  They turned to idol worship and sinful living as God looked on with great grief.  They chose brokenness as a way of life.

Their soul wounds enslaved their hearts! 

Jeremiah 8:21 says, “For the wound of the daughter of my people is my heart wounded; I mourn, and dismay has taken hold of me.”

As God’s sons and daughters, the cry of God’s heart is to restore us and heal the broken places of our hearts.

Today, here this good news!!!  There is balm in Gilead!  God wants us to come as His adopted children to receive restoration.

Jeremiah 29:11 says, “For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans for welfare, not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”

What a glorious promise!  Despite our brokenness and poor choices from our past, God longs to restore us.  Ask God to come and reveal the wounds of your soul so that you begin allowing God to heal those hidden places of your heart that remain wounded and weeping.  Don’t be stubborn like Israel, don’t fall into destructive behaviors that will only cause you pain and suffering.  Seek The Great Physician!

There is a balm in Gilead for your wounds!!

His Daughter,

Melanie

                           

Soul Care: 5 warning signs that you may be soul weary

soul care deanna pic

“A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.”  -Proverbs 17:22

As a woman, we can be easily pulled under by the under-toe of life’s to-do list.  Before we know it, life’s current has pulled us out to sea without a life jacket and we’re left on our own trying to keep our nose above water.  Eventually, the waves of life pushes us into shore, laying face down in the sand like a ship-wrecked survivor.  We are left weak and dehydrated in our souls, crying out for nourishment.

Does this sound like you?  Then you may be “soul weary.”

Here are 5 warning signs that you may be soul weary.

1.  Fatigue or inability to sleep:

When I am overwhelmed and I can’t shut off my mind, sleep then eludes me.  I then gradually become irritated and tired spending so much time entertaining my anxious thoughts all the while forgetting that I have a Father who loves me.

1 Peter 5:7 says,  “Cast all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.”

2.  Feelings associated with anxiety and or depression:

Pro-longed fatigue is then followed up with feelings of depression and anxiety.  The feelings associated with depression/anxiety are very deceitful because they send us messages about ourselves that are false.

Without soul care, the voice of truth (God’s voice)  becomes faded as the cares of the world close in on us.

3.  A sense of apathy toward life:

We find ourselves going through the motions of our day.  The small things in our day that we once found joy we are now numb towards.  Waking up and sipping our coffee, taking time to look at God’s creation around us, delighting  in the laughter of a child.  By staying connected in our spirits to God,  His presence pointing  us to  the joyful moments of the day.  God gently whispers to us, “Be still, and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10.

4.  Feeling out of control and relying on your own strength:

When I am soul weary I have to ask myself a question.  Am I relying on my own strength to get through the ups and downs of my life?  Am I seeking God for His nurturance?  Am I seeking the fellowship of my Christian friends by sharing my burdens or am I “white-knuckling” it on my own?  If I have learned one thing in life it’s that I cannot walk this journey alone.  I need God as my ever present help and I need His people to uphold me and to nurture me.  I need to share my weaknesses and my short comings so I know that I am not alone on this sometimes soul-weary journey.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 says, “Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.”

5. Your relationship with God is distant or even non-existent:

Early in this soul-care series I talked about a “healthy God image.”  You need to ask yourself, “How do I feel God views me?”  If you see Him as a distant father or mean task-master you are not going to seek Him to care for your soul.

If you haven’t read the blog regarding ä “healthy God image” I encourage you to do so. John 15:1-27 says,  “I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit. Already you are clean because of the word that I have spoken to you. Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. …

You are so very loved by God, it doesn’t matter how your past life story reads.  If you have accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior you are forgiven and redeemed!  Praise His name!  I saw a quote once that said, “When satan tries to remind you of your past you can remind him of his future.”  Amen?  Your soul care depends on your relationship with God.

In the next installation regarding “soul care” I will share with you practical steps to starting and maintaining your soul care.  Until then, know that you are a precious child of God loved to the fullest!

His Daughter,

Melanie

Soul Care: Practical steps to start practicing soul care

soul care deanna pic Up to this point, we have discussed how being “Soul Weary” will manifest itself in our lives and 5 possible warning signs.

We have talked about how to be a, “Mary in a Martha World” and the importance of seeking God in a chaotic world and taking that time to sit at Jesus’ feet.

We also explored how we see God in relationship to our lives, “Do You Have a Healthy God Image?”  Do you see Him as a loving Father or a mean task-master?

Before taking practical steps toward soul care I would encourage you to scroll ahead and read the previous posts mentioned above I believe they will inspire and encourage you in your pursuit of peace and serenity!

PRACTICAL STEPS TO SOUL CARE

~Choose a special place in your house that you can be your special retreat spot.  It can be a quiet place with a chair, it can be your bedroom, it can be your front porch or back porch.  Whatever spot you

choose be sure it’s quiet and secluded away from distractions.

~Don’t get caught up in what time of day to have your quiet time.  If you not a morning person that’s ok.  Maybe the best time for you to de-compress from the day is at night.  We are all

in seasons of our lives with babies to high-schoolers, empty-nesters or maybe we are single or care-taking an elderly parent.  It’s ok, God loves you no matter what time of day you seek Him for your soul

care.

~Close your eyes and breathe deeply in and out and then repeat.  Imagine you are breathing in God’s love while exhaling the worries and concerns of the day or even day before.  Sit quietly for a few

moments just breathing.  I don’t know about you but sometimes I forget to breathe or I find myself holding my breath.  Breathe in the love of God deeply.

~Choose one of your favorite devotional books to read.  I love “Jesus Calling” by Sarah Young or choose a bible verse to meditate upon.  Read it then read it again.  Ask God to speak to you through

the words.  Is there anything He would like to teach you through the reading or scripture?

~ DON’T COMPLICATE IT!  Keep it simple, quiet, meditative.  Ask God to renew your soul and breathe new life into you.

~The last step is to just enjoy.  Have a cup of tea or coffee with you, light a candle.  Sit at the feet of Jesus and let Him renew your weary soul.  Make this a daily habit and I promise that you will

experience a peace that passes all understanding.

 

His Daughter,

Melanie

Plan A Play Date With Your Hubby!

mark and I

Yes, you heard me right a play date.

As a family therapist, I am always instilling the importance of putting your marriage first! As married couples we get it all backwards.

We are going to this practice, that rehearsal, food shopping, dog grooming, car inspections, the list goes on and on. We make sure our kids have the latest gadget, clothing etc..

We run ourselves ragged and usually take the stress out on one another which then leads to the kids feeling overwhelmed and stressed out too.

Take a moment and calculate in your mind how many minutes you spent this week actually just checking-in with your spouse to see how he or she is doing emotionally.

Was it 1 hour total, 30 minutes, or maybe 10 minutes this week? Yikes! I hope not!

By the time I start to see married couples in my office, they have lost their intimate connection to one another and usually use the phrase over and over again, “I feel like we are two ships in the night.”

If this is the case, it is time to sail out to sea, just the two of you and set down your anchors, put a plank between your ships and jump ship into each others arms! Your marriage depends on it!

Actually, your family as a whole depends upon it. When children see that Mom and Dad are happy and stress free it gives them a sense of security and nurturance that money can never buy.

Oh and a play date doesn’t cost a thing because you probably already have games in the house!

HOW I PLANNED A PLAY DATE WITH MY HUBBY!

One day my husband was feeling overwhelmed and grumpy about a bunch of different things. I noticed we were getting on each others nerves and you could feel the tension in the room.

We had the game of “Trouble” sitting around and he had mentioned that he loved playing it as a kid. So that afternoon I said we need to play a game and just be silly.

He looked at me with one eyebrow raised in the air as if I was losing my mind and then I saw his face soften. He agreed to give it a try.

Within one minute we were laughing and teasing one another, the stress that we were feeling melted away and we ended up playing three rounds….well, I am kind of competitive……….ok I’m a lot competitive when it comes to playing games.

Since then, we have played “Trouble” quite a few times. I can’t tell you the feeling of freedom we had of letting go of the stress and just being present with one another.

So, go and plan a play date with your hubby. Re-discover his smile, his laughter, his playful nature. Enjoy one another once again.

His Daughter,

Melanie

“Women! Take Your Place At The Family Table of God!”

Did you know that you are an adopted daughter of God?

Adopted by the most loving, caring, forgiving, available Father?

Not just any Father, but the Father of the Kingdom of Heaven!  Do you know what this means?!

Well first of all, yes you are a princess and have always been a princess…..

……but this isn’t a fairy tale!

This is your life ordained and covered by Your Father, the King of Heaven and earth!  No matter how your past history has been written on this earth….YOU ARE LOVED!

As our Father, He doesn’t just kiss our boo-boo’s when we fall down but He picks up the pieces of our shattered past, heals our brokenness and restores us into a new creation.

He never wastes the pain we’ve experienced.  You may be wondering, “Well, how do you know anything about my pain?”  You’re right, I don’t know the details of your past but I have experienced….

…..abandonment, rejection, hopelessness, and wanting to just give up…..wounded beyond repair….damaged goods.

I want to share with you the One who rescued me, “It is God who arms me with strength and keeps my way secure.  He sets my hind feet on high places and causes me to stand on the heights.” -2 Samuel 22: 33-34.

I am now learning to live high above my circumstances.

I’d like to introduce you to my loving “Abba” (Daddy) Father.  I am an adopted daughter of God of the most high!

He calls you an adopted daughter of God and wants to break the chains of your past and set you free!  So come, come and take your seat at…

…..THE FAMILY TABLE OF GOD!!

His Daughter,

Melanie